He kissed a someone with a penis
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I need to calm my uterus...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
