how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
