I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
