exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
