U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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