you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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