I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
