who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
