My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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