she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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