party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
