Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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