The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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