I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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