I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
