He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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