How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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