So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
