Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
