you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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