i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
