If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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