Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
