it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
