Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
