i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
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He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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