If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
