There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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