It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize