I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Less talking, more tequila
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
