I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
