11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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