Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
