He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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