Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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