theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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