dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
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The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
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oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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