During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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