You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
