Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
