the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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