I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
