She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
