i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
