Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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