Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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