Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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