Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
