I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
