After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need to calm my uterus...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
