This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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