I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm bleeding and have questions
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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