i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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