I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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