sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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