i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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