she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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