i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
