i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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