By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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