So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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