how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
