The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out