no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She bit a glass in half.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid