well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.